You Look And Turn The Pages
by Kellyyy
Summary: Ten years and hundreds of miles seperate them from each other. And then they suddenly don't anymore. LP. Short chapterfic.
1. I

**Summary: **Ten years and hundreds of miles seperate them from each other. And then they suddenly don't anymore. LP. Short chapterfic.

**AN: **Hello! I've got some new LP for you guys, I hope you like it. It's set after season 4, the proposal still happened but that's where it ends. Peyton didn't meet Julian in LA, Lucas didn't call Peyton for the book signing, she didn't see him with Lindsey, etc etc. This is a chapterfic, but it's only going to be four/five chapters.

Thank you for reading!

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**I.**

Peyton walks through the city, without much of a goal and a little restless, but it's better than sitting in her apartment, listening to sad songs and reading the same sentences over and over again.

She's been living in the city that never sleeps for quite some time now and she's gotten fairly used to the lights and the noise, but somehow, it seems oddly quiet tonight.

It doesn't take long though, before all the sounds she's come to ignore hit her again. People are shouting at each other across the street, an ambulance is making its way from or to a hospital in the distance, there's a cab driver willing his car to a halt right behind her, making the rainy puddles splash against the sidewalk.

It's nice for a change; it feels nice to hear the sounds again, to be aware of everything that's happening around her. She's felt suffocated in this little place she created for herself for quite a while now, it feels nice to break out of it.

Her phone rings and she's tempted to shut the call down immediately because as much as she's welcoming the sounds surrounding her, she doesn't want to hear the shrill tones of her phone right now. But then she catches the name of the caller and she knows Brooke hates it when she's ignored so she picks up anyway.

"Meet me in ten at the carousel." Brooke voice sings through the phone and before Peyton can agree, she hangs up again.

It's not a long walk from the place where she is to the carousel in Central Park, but it's a rainy September afternoon and the park is probably the last place she wants to go to. There's a part of her that wants to call Brooke, tell her to meet her at the coffee shop across the street, but eventually, she walks into the direction of the park anyway.

It's Brooke's favourite meeting spot in the city and Peyton has no idea why. In the end, it's just a carousel and lots of children.

When she gets there, Brooke is already waiting in front of the entrance, holding two cups of coffee.

"Finally." She says when Peyton reaches her and lets out a small sigh as she hands over one of the two cups.

"You're lucky I was already in Manhattan, because you'd have to wait a whole lot longer if I had still been in Brooklyn." Peyton replies, gratefully welcoming the warm drink.

Brooke shakes her head, "You should just get away from Brooklyn altogether and get a place here."

The blonde laughs and falls in step next to her best friend as they start walking away from the carousel, "I can't afford an apartment in your neighbourhood, Brooke."

"Your dad left you some money, right? And I can help." Brooke offers. "It's just such a nuisance that you have to travel across the country every time we want to see each other."

Ever since Peyton moved to New York seven years ago, Brooke has practically been begging her to get a place closer to her. Peyton, however, loves living in Brooklyn and she loves the job she found there. Besides, it isn't as if Brooke has much to complain about, it's almost always Peyton who crosses the distance between Brooklyn and Manhattan, not the other way around.

"Okay, Brooklyn is _not _across the country." Peyton laughs again. Brooke's been her best friend for more than twenty years now, but sometimes her melodramatic side still surprises Peyton. "I can barely pay my small Brooklyn apartment rent, let alone a place in your neighbourhood. And I'm not using my dad's money to pay rent, okay? I'll use it when I really need it."

"Your dad would've wanted you to live somewhere nice, right?" Brooke replies and rolls her eyes just a little because it would just be so much easier if Peyton listened to her for once. She knows she's been whining about this for seven years now, but really, can anybody fault her for wanting her best friend close by?

"I _live _somewhere nice, B. Which you would know if you came around more often." Peyton teases and takes a sip of her coffee.

Brooke dismisses the comment with a wave of her hand, "You're the only part of my life that's not in Manhattan." She goes on complaining and is then met with Peyton's raised eyebrows when she looks at her friend. "What?"

"Nathan and Haley?"

"I Skype with Naley while I'm on the couch in my _Manhattan _apartment."She retorts, a smug smile on her face because as she sees it, her point is still valid. Peyton can only shake her head.

They walk out of Central Park, bickering back and forth and hoping that the heavy rain that's hanging in the clouds won't hit the city until they are well inside the Italian restaurant a few blocks away.

.

"Okay, this tortellini is to die for." Brooke comments, her fork still paused mid-air after she took the first bite of her dish.

They're sitting in their favourite Italian restaurant, not too far from Brooke's place. The girls come here once a month, determined to try out every single dish on the menu. It's become their special girls night out, even though they see each other all the time.

"Well, the pasta pesto is pretty good too." Peyton nods and takes another bite.

After a minute or two, Brooke puts down her fork and looks at her best friend, "So, how's P. Sawyer doing?"

Peyton narrows her eyes a little in confusion. Brooke knows how she's doing, they've been talking for over an hour now. "P. Sawyer's doing good. How about B. Davis?" She answers.

The brunette rolls her eyes, "B. Davis is doing good too. You know, _she _didn't just break up with her fiancé."

Of course. Peyton could've known the conversation would eventually land on the topic of Julian.

She lets out a sigh and waits a few moments before answering. It's not that she doesn't want to talk to Brooke about Julian, it's just that they _have _already talked about it. There's nothing else she can say. There was no big reason that made her break up with him. As far as she knows, there weren't even a lot of smaller reasons to do so. She knows it doesn't make sense, that people don't understand her, but it is what it is. She can't change anything about it; she can't make herself to want to marry him.

When Peyton stays silent a little too long for Brooke's liking, she clears her throat, making Peyton look up at her. "Julian called me. Said you're not picking up your phone. He just wants to talk to you, Peyton."

"There's nothing left to say. I can't give him what he wants."

Brooke nods, but if she's honest, she doesn't really understand it. "He just wants you. I thought everything was going great, you've been together for five years."

The blonde sighs again, a little exasperatedly, because it seems as if Brooke isn't even trying to see it from her perspective. She knows that isn't true though, that her best friend is really trying to understand her. She's just voicing what everyone thinks.

"We've talked about this, Brooke. Nothing big happened. I guess I just realized that it wasn't what I wanted. I know it sounds horrible, to give him up just like that, but I can't see myself growing old with him. What's the point in getting married if I can't see a future for us?"

"You know I only want what's best for you." She tells her friend. The last thing she wants is for Peyton to think that her best friend is not on her side. She is, she always will be, but she also feels bad for Julian. "You two just always gave me hope, you know." She says then, shrugging a shoulder. "I've always felt that with you settling down, it wouldn't take me too long anymore either."

Peyton smiles at her friend, "We're only twenty-nine."

"Naley has been married for thirteen years!"

"Nathan and Haley are the exception." Peyton says and lets out a few chuckles. It still seems crazy to her that they got married so young, even though she's witnessed how amazingly their marriage has worked out.

"Yeah, but they have two kids now, that's not an exception. Lucas is a dad too."

Peyton shakes her head a little at the brunette. They've had this conversation before and Brooke always brings up the same arguments. It's not that simple though. You don't just settle down because you want too, there's more to it than just the wish to do so. And if she's honest, she really is convinced that there's still more than enough time to get settled down. Or that's what too many episodes of _Sex and the City_ have taught her anyway.

"He's divorced though." Peyton counters and takes another mouthful of her pasta.

They barely talk about Lucas, not even when they see or talk to Nathan and Haley. It's not because Peyton's mad at him for whatever happened ten years ago or because it still hurts. It's simply because Peyton moved on and because Brooke lost touch with him. It's never been purposeful, it just sort of happened. Of course Haley told them when he got engaged or when his daughter was born, but there's never been any reunion. They were both invited to his wedding (they're convinced Haley was behind that), but Brooke had to be in Milan and Peyton was standing next to Julian on the red carpet of an important film festival.

She's been thinking about him though, Peyton that is. After the break up with Julian she picked up _An Unkindness of Ravens_ from her bookshelf and hasn't really been able to put it down again. Even after ten years his prose still amazes her.

"Still, he did settle down for a while." Brooke replies, pulling Peyton from her thoughts.

"And now he's a single dad, is that so much of a better place than the one we are at right now?" She asks.

Brooke lifts her shoulders a little, "I don't know. I guess I'm just a little bit bummed now that your fairytale isn't working out and I don't really see one for myself in the near future either."

"Hey, cheer up, B. Davis. We're both single girls again. Who knows what might happen." Peyton smiles at her best friend.

She nods and lets herself smile as well, "I guess you're right, P. Sawyer."

.

It's a short distance from the nearest subway station to Peyton's apartment. After five years of living in the same apartment, the walk has become a bit of a routine. In the mornings, she'll stop first at the coffee shop around the corner from her place. She needs her vanilla latte to wake up in the morning.

Then she passes the record store she visits once a week, just to see what's new. She's been working at a small record label for six years now and she's surrounded by music all the time, but there's something about an old school record store that she can't resist.

When she gets back from work or Brooke's or wherever she's been Gus is the first one she passes though. Gus wanders through the streets of her neighbourhood, every single day again. He's not actually homeless, even though he looks a bit like it. He greets her every morning with a smile and if Peyton has time she stops for a talk. Sometimes, if she has even more time, she buys him a coffee. He's a nice guy, always ready for a joke as well, and to this day Peyton still doesn't know why he wanders around all the time.

She's still smiling after their little talk when she rounds the corner of her street and is met with a waiting figure on her doorstep. She's been thinking about him after her dinner with Brooke a few days ago, but she really hadn't expected to see him.

Julian gets up when he sees her approaching him, meeting her halfway. "Hi," He greets her and seems to be leaning forward to kiss or hug her, but stops midway. As if he realized he's no longer in the position to do so.

"Hey," She replies and motions for him to follow her into her building.

"You weren't picking up your phone so I figured I'd stop by." Julian says then, falling in step next to her.

"It's okay." Peyton smiles a little. It's not really okay though. She has no clue what to do or say now, she's said everything already when they broke up. She glances sideways at him, trying to come up with something to say when she notices what's hanging around his shoulder. "What's that?" She asks, pointing at it and trying to suppress a chuckle.

"It's a man bag." He answers, a little proudly she thinks and some chuckles escape her lips anyway. "What, you don't like it?"

"No no, I do." She reassures him as they start climbing the stairs. "It's just, what's it for exactly?"

He looks at her in confusion because isn't it pretty clear what a man bag is? "It's to put stuff in. Wallet, phone, whatever."

"So it's a regular bag?"

"No! It's… _masculine_."

Peyton laughs and opens the door of her apartment, "Sure."

She walks in and drops her bag on the small table by the door, Julian following her inside.

Her apartment isn't big. It has two bedrooms, a small kitchen and living room and an even smaller bathroom. It's her home now though and whatever Brooke may say, she doesn't think she'll leave it anytime soon.

She spent her first two years in New York in Brooklyn as well, but back then she rented a one-bedroom apartment. When her paycheck finally allowed her to move, she went for two bedrooms and started using the second one as an art room. She let all her creativity run free on the walls, drawing and doodling, painting it over again when she didn't like it there anymore. The walls of her art room sort of represent what's going on inside of her head and every time she walks into the room it puts a smile on her face.

There are canvases scattered all around the room, art supplies lying around in drawers, waiting to be used. When Peyton looks around the room it feels a little like heaven sometimes.

"So…" Peyton drawls out after a few moments in silence. Julian is looking at her DVD collection on her shelves, his back to her. "You know, you practically bought them all, you can take whatever you want."

The shelves on the living room walls are full of records, books and films. Apart from her records, which are ordered alphabetically, it's all a bit of mess. There are photo frames too, of her and Brooke, of the whole gang back in high school, of Nathan and Haley's boys. Julian's eyes are fixed on that one and Peyton wonders if he's thinking about the kids they could've had.

There's a photo of her and Julian right next to it, made a couple of years ago, back when she thought she had found the one she was going to spend the rest of her life with. They broke up four weeks ago, but she doesn't have the heart to take the photo down. She doesn't know if she even wants to take it away. After all, he's been a big part of her life and even though she doesn't see a future with him, she still really cares for him.

"Julian?" Peyton asks tentatively when he stays silent a little while longer.

He looks up at her, and he looks so lost she has to bite her lip because she doesn't want to cry. She hates causing him pain and she wishes she could change it, but she can't.

"Are you sure we can't try to make it work?" He asks then, walking past her carmine coloured couch, getting closer to her.

She takes a step back, her legs brushing against the dinner table and she takes a seat on one of the chairs. He's quick to follow her, sitting down too, and he reaches for her hand, for some sort of comfort, assuring him that it's not all lost and over. She withdraws from him though, folding her hands in her lap.

"I'm sorry, Julian. It's… It's not going to work." She wishes she didn't have to have this conversation again, had hoped that everything would've been clear the first time and that he would let her be.

"Why not? We've been together for five years, Peyton, doesn't that mean something?"

She nods a little, swallowing down her nerves. "It means we had five great years. You were so important to me, Julian, you know that. I just don't want to do anything that I know I will regret later on."

"So you would regret marrying me?" He looks up at the ceiling in disbelief. They were happy, he really thought they were. He still has trouble comprehending that she was not.

"Why do you want to have this conversation again? Isn't that just making it more painful for the both of us?" She asks, but when he doesn't say anything she goes on. "I was so happy when you asked me to marry you, I was. But then weeks and months went by and just thinking about our wedding or our married life made me feel too anxious to breathe."

"That's just cold feet, you know."

"It's more than just cold feet." Peyton tells him, looking down at her hands again. She feels horrible for doing this to him and the look on his face is really not helping. "I know I don't make sense, that you don't understand me. I don't even understand myself. I don't know what I want, I just know what I don't want."

Julian nods, "Me." When he puts it like that she feels even more awful, but she can't really contradict him so she just keeps silent. "Does it have anything to do with Lucas?" He asks then and jerks his thumb in the direction of her coffee table.

Her eyes fly from his face to the book lying on the table and she shakes her head quickly, a little frantically. "Lucas? Of course not. I just picked up _Ravens _after we broke up, thought it'd bring me some solace. I haven't seen Lucas in ten years, Julian."

"You loved him though."

"Yeah, he was my high school boyfriend." It sounds banal, even though she knows her love for Lucas was far from trivial. She's honestly over it though, in the five years she's been with Julian she's barely thought about Lucas. "He has nothing to do with us, never has. Why do you even think that?"

Julian sighs, "I guess I'm just looking for an explanation. I need to understand why and you're not telling me anything and I just…"

Peyton nods, because she really does get what he's saying. She just can't tell him anything more. "Well, Lucas has nothing to do with it." She says.

"Then what is it?"

"I don't know!" She throws her hands up in the air, a little desperately, racking her brain for something, _anything_, to tell him. She stays quiet though.

He stands up from his chair and starts pacing back and forth in the already small place. After a while he faces her again, "Do you remember when we first met?"

"Of course. You walked into the label with that silly hat on your head." She says and there's a hint of a smile around her lips.

They met a little over five years ago when Julian wanted to use some songs of a young, relatively unknown singer-songwriter, signed with the small label Peyton works at, in his new movie. Peyton didn't mean much yet at the label back then, but they had met at the entrance of the building and Julian had quickly won her over with that charming grin of his.

"Hey, you said you liked that hat!" He says and he smiles a little, but his smile doesn't linger like it used to. "When we first started dating, did you think that five years later we'd be broken up without any explanation?" He goes on then and suddenly his voice sounds so cold, as if he's spitting out the words, and he seems so different from the dorky and friendly guy he's always been that tears spring into her eyes immediately.

"I've given you the best explanation I have, Julian." She says as a tear makes its way down her cheek. "I never wanted to hurt you, but I need to think of myself too."

More tears fall down and she hates it, because she doesn't want to make this about her. He's hurting and it's her fault, she shouldn't be crying now. However, _she_'s hurting too. Breaking up with him was probably one of the hardest decisions she ever made. The whole situation had been eating away at her for months before she finally made the decision that she just couldn't stay with him. It wasn't just something she had decided in the spur of the moment. And ever since they broke up she has felt awful too, despite what she keeps telling Brooke.

She doesn't want to be with him anymore, but at the same time she hates being away from him.

He strides forward, pulling her up from the chair and into his arms. He's always hated seeing her cry.

"I'm so sorry." She mutters hoarsely into the crook of his neck. She says it over and over again, repeating it like a mantra.

His hold tightens and his lips find her hair as he tells her over and over again that it's okay. It's a mess of words, _sorry_'s and _okay_'s and it breaks his heart. It's only now that he realizes this hasn't been easy on her either. He wants everything with her, but he knows she has the right not to want it all with him.

"I'll miss you." He tells her quietly after a while.

She nods against his chest, says she'll miss him too. She lets go of him and her arms immediately fly around her body, as if to protect her from more pain. She follows him to the door, tries for a weak smile which he mimics and then he's gone. She lets her head rest against the closed door for a moment before she slides down onto the floor, accidentally knocking against the small table next to the door. It waggles just a little bit, but enough for the photo frame that stands on top of it to topple down.

The sound of glass breaking pierces through the silence in the apartment and for a while she lets the frame lie on the floor, broken into countless little pieces. When she glances at the photo covered in broken glass she realizes it's the one of her, Julian and her dad, taken a few months before her dad had died.

It's been her choice for the most part, but she can't believe she's now lost both men in the picture.

.

The day after Julian stopped by her place Peyton sits at her usual booth in the little café a few blocks away from her apartment. She doesn't have work today, but staying at home felt too suffocating so she went out for lunch.

She visits the café regularly, stopping by for lunch or coffee. It makes her think of Karen's Café back in Tree Hill, which is probably why she can't stop going there. It's also one of the only places Brooke is willing to cross the bridge for.

She's reading a Doris Lessing novella as she waits for her food when Brooke slides into the booth as well. Peyton puts her book down and smiles as Brooke makes her order. It's a little bit pointless because the brunette always orders the same thing and Lisa, the owner, knows the two women well enough by now to know what they want.

"You look terrible." Brooke says as a greeting when she turns towards her friend.

"Uh, thanks?" The blonde answers and rolls her eyes. She knows she does though, she's barely slept all night and her eyes are probably still swollen from crying.

Brooke's face changes into a worried frown as she studies Peyton's face. It's been three days since she last saw Peyton and she wonders what happened in the meantime to have her look like this. "What's going on? I thought P. Sawyer was doing so well?" Her voice sounds concerned and Peyton has to smile a little. She's lucky to have the support system that is Brooke Davis.

Peyton lets out a sigh, runs a hand over her face. "Julian was waiting for me last night when I got back from work."

Brooke raises her eyebrows in surprise, "And?"

"He wants an explanation, he's looking for one and whenever he asks me I blank because… I don't know what to say to him, Brooke." She says and lifts her shoulders a little. "But I think he gets it now though, or I don't know, I think he's going to leave it be from now on."

"And that's a good thing?" Brooke asks carefully. For the past four weeks it seemed as if Peyton was waiting for Julian to understand her and to accept her decision. Now though, she's speaking in such a sad tone it looks as if that's the last thing on earth she wants.

Peyton nods, but not very convincingly, "Yes. It's just that, it's scary, you know? He's been such a big part of my life for five years and now he's not anymore. I know I'm the one who broke it off, but I'm not used to that yet."

"Are you sure this is what you want?" It's the first time Peyton's being so honest about her break up with Julian and she wants to make sure her friend is not making any mistakes. "I don't want you to regret this, Peyton."

"It's what I want. I just hate feeling this way."

"If it's what you want, you'll get through it. He will too." Brooke reassures her because she knows that's what Peyton is most worried about. It's not only about her own heartache, it's also about the pain she's causing Julian.

Peyton nods and then looks up as a waitress approaches them with their food. She smiles thankfully as the girl sets the plates on the table and when she leaves again, both women shift their attention to their food. Brooke lets Peyton be, knows that when she wants to talk some more, she will.

"You know," The blonde starts again after a while and Brooke smiles a little because she knew Peyton would talk again eventually. "he actually asked me if Lucas had anything to do with it."

"Lucas?" She asks and she's probably wearing the same look of surprise Peyton was when Julian asked her about it. She knows her best friend has moved on from the broody blonde, even though it had been far from easy. She's always been proud of Peyton for finding love again after all the pain and heartache that followed after the break up with Lucas.

"Yeah. He saw my copy of _Ravens _lying on the coffee table. It's crazy though, it's been ten years since I've seen Lucas."

Brooke's thoughts go back to ten years earlier, when Lucas showed up in New York, all broken-hearted. When Peyton called her the day after, tears streaming down her face, because why, _why_, had he just left her in that hotel room? It's then that she realizes that Lucas had actually _proposed _to Peyton, that Peyton had wished for years that she'd said yes. She can't help but ask the question,

"Can't you see yourself getting married to Julian because you've always pictured yourself getting married to Lucas?"

"What?" Peyton asks incredulously, eyes growing wide. Of all people, she'd expect her best friend to know that she was long over Lucas.

Brooke holds up her hands, "Don't shoot me. I was just thinking… You've always wanted to marry him, Peyton."

"Back when I was still a crying mess living in LA, yeah. Lucas hasn't been on my mind in years, he has nothing to do with Julian. You moved on from Lucas too, didn't you?" Peyton fires back.

Brooke nods and she knows she should just drop the subject. Maybe she shouldn't even have brought it up in the first place. It's probably a silly thought anyway, because in the seven years Peyton has been living in New York, she's barely spoken a word about him.

She knows Peyton was fully committed to her relationship with Julian, that Lucas really has nothing to do with it. She knows he hasn't been on Peyton's mind.

But maybe, just maybe Brooke thinks, her best friend simply never realized he was still on her mind.

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**AN: **Not a lot of Lucas in this one, but he's coming, don't worry. Reviews are love and thank you again for reading!


	2. II

**AN: **Hi! Here's the second chapter, I hope you all like it :) Thank you so much for reviewing/following/favouriting this story by the way, I appreciate it so much!

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**II.**

Lucas has always liked the quiet at the River Court at night. He loves the idea of just him and the game as the evening falls. He's been there for a few hours, as the afternoon light changed into twilight and eventually into the darkness of the evening. It's only nine o'clock, but it's mid-October and the days are getting shorter.

The lights on the court are on, but the court itself is surrounded by darkness and somehow, it makes him feel as if the court is only there for him. Even after all those years, the River Court is still that one places that makes him feel completely at home and at peace.

He's aiming for the hoop for what seems the hundredth time when the quiet gets disturbed by footsteps and an excited, "Daddy!"

Lucas turns around, lets the basketball drop to the ground as his little girl runs towards her father, smiling widely when he picks her up and lifts her into the air. Lindsey steps onto the court as well, watching her ex-husband and their daughter. It seems as if Emily hasn't seen him in weeks, she clings to him and buries her head into the crook of his neck, but it's only been two days since the little girl saw her dad.

"Hey princess," He greets his daughter and she flashes him the sweetest of smiles before she lets her head rest against his shoulder again. "What are you doing here?" He asks then, looking at Lindsey. "She should be in bed."

Lindsey sighs, "I know that, Lucas. She couldn't sleep, kept asking for you. But we're going home soon, right baby girl?"

The girls nods at her mother, but clings just a little bit more to Lucas as she does so. He frowns at her before looking back up at Lindsey. "What's going on?"

He walks towards the picnic table next to the court with Emily in his arms, Lindsey trailing behind him. Lucas sits down with the girl, her little arms tightly around his neck, and waits for his ex-wife to sit down as well. He can hear Emily's breathing change and he knows she's fallen asleep. He doesn't understand why Lindsey told him she couldn't sleep, but now, she's fast asleep in under three minutes.

"Okay, why is Ems acting like she hasn't seen me in weeks?" Lucas asks Lindsey when she sits down. He knows his daughter loves him, but she usually doesn't cling to him like her life depends on it.

She runs a hand over her face before looking up at him with those big grey eyes of hers, "I think she overheard me on the phone."

"Yes?" He says, urging her to elaborate.

Lindsey takes a deep breath before she tells him the news she knows he won't be happy with. "I'm moving back to New York in two weeks."

"You what?" Lucas asks, his eyes wide as he tries to understand what she's telling him.

Lindsey moved to Tree Hill permanently after two years of dating. Only having stolen days or weekends together was annoying both of them and even when she could stay whole weeks in Tree Hill, it never seemed long enough. She was still able to keep her job as an editor though, mostly working from home. She'd go up to New York sometimes for meetings, but from then on her life was in Tree Hill with Lucas. After their divorce she had decided to stay, it being easier for all of them. She didn't want for Emily to have to leave Tree Hill and since it didn't matter much for her job the decision was quickly made.

"The company asked me to come back. I couldn't say no." She explains, her eyes travelling down to the sleeping form of her daughter. She knows things are going to change for Emily, but it didn't have to be a negative chance. Lots of children grow up in New York, her girl would be just fine.

Lucas shakes his head as he gets what this all means, "You're taking Emily with you, aren't you?"

"I can't leave her behind, Lucas." Lindsey says. "You'll still get to see her. You can come visit as much as you want, she can spend school holidays here. It doesn't have to change much."

"You're taking my daughter away, Linds! You can't do this."

She nods and pinches the bridge of her nose. Ever since Emily was born, she's been Lucas' everything. She knows there's nothing in his life that will ever be as important to him as their daughter. She doesn't want to take their girl away from him, but she really doesn't want to stay in Tree Hill either. Her company wants her back and to be honest, _she_ really wants to go back as well. She's been feeling as if too many more days in the little town will suffocate her.

"I can't stay here any longer. Not just because of my job. Tree Hill is too small for me, Lucas." She tells him and she's not lying. She's loved living in Tree Hill, back when she and Lucas were still together and life in the small town was pretty amazing. But since they got divorced a little over a year ago now, she's been wondering what exactly is keeping her in a town that will never feel completely like home.

"I get that." Lucas nods because he does. Over the years he's seen enough people trading in Tree Hill for bigger places. "But you're not alone in this, Ems is my daughter too."

Lindsey nods again. They've always understood each other, even after their divorce. They just aren't always agreeing with each other. "New York isn't the other side of the world, Lucas. We'll figure something out." She assures him and gets up from her place. She doesn't want to talk about this now, she hadn't even meant to tell him tonight. She's only here because she couldn't get Emily in bed at all after she had picked up something about moving to New York.

Lucas gets up too and carefully places the little girl into Lindsey's waiting arms. "Can we talk about this some more tomorrow?" He asks before she starts walking away.

"Sure." She tells him, heading into the direction of her car. He trails a little behind her until she turns back to him and smiles politely, "See you, Luke." She says as he offers a small wave.

A minute later he's alone again at the old court. It's always been that one place that makes him feel completely at home and at peace, but he wonders just how he's supposed to feel at home and at peace in Tree Hill when his little girl is in New York.

.

The next morning he's strolling lazily through town, waving at some people he knows as he passes them from across the street. He's had an early practice with his team, but he's free for the rest of the morning now so he decided to take a walk to clear his head.

It shouldn't surprise him that the place he ends up at is Karen's Café.

He walks into the small place, smiling at some of the customers he recognizes. Haley greets him with a smile as well, already pouring his coffee before he has even sit down at the counter.

"You want something to eat as well?" She asks, putting down his cup in front of him.

He smiles gratefully at his best friend, welcoming the warm drink, and shakes his head. "I'm good, thanks. My mom here yet?"

Haley shakes her head before quickly helping out a girl with some napkins. "She's only getting here around noon. Said she's going to do some paperwork." She laughs and Lucas lets out a chuckle too.

Even after years of having a café Karen still hates to do the paperwork. She loves her café; hates the whole hassle that comes with it. At the same time though, she hates not doing it all herself. Haley's officially been her partner for three years now, but the times Karen has let Haley do some of the paperwork herself are countable on two hands, tops. Haley's not complaining, but she really wouldn't mind helping Karen out.

"Hey, you okay?" Haley asks then. He's looking down at his cup of coffee in his hands with an unreadable expression on his face. She looks at him worriedly and it's only when she lets her hand rest on his arm that he looks up at her.

He sighs a little, running a hand over his face before he meets his best friend's eyes. "Lindsey is moving to New York."

"Oh." She replies. It's a silly answer, but she's a little too surprised to say anything else. She knows Lindsey would've never moved to Tree Hill had it not been for love, but she honestly thought that she genuinely liked the small town now, that she really did love living here. "With Emily?"

Lucas nods, "Yeah, with Emily."

She gets now why he's sitting in front of her with that sombre face. "Can she do that? I mean, take Emily away just like that." She asks. She can't even imagine Emily not being close to her dad. She had always been a daddy's girl and ever since the divorce it seemed as if they had become even closer, both Lucas and Emily cherishing their time together now that they saw each other less.

"I don't know, Hales. I guess she needs my consent for taking Emily with her since we have shared custody, but what can I do?"

Haley sighs, trying to think of an solution. "Can't you just not give your consent?"

"And what? Take this all to court? I don't want to make this difficult for any of us. Especially not for Ems." He says. He's thought about it, fighting her decision to move, but really, where's that going to lead him? Lindsey's a good mom, he knows that, and he doesn't think there's a lot that the court will say. Besides, he really does understand her. She'd lived in the city until she met him and he knows the small town life isn't cut out for everyone. He remembers her complaints about always having the same restaurants to choose from, the same shops to go to. He really does get the appeal of the big city and he can't fault her for wanting to move back.

"What are your options then?"

"I don't know." He says again. "See Ems during school vacations, visit New York as much as I can." It's what Lindsey had suggested last night, but the more he thinks about it the more he starts hating the idea of only seeing his daughter every few months. Even every few weeks sounds too long.

It had taken a while to get used to spending less time with Emily after the divorce. He knew that he and Lindsey had made the right decision when they split up, but it was hard not being able to have dinner every night with his daughter, or not being there every night to tuck her into bed. But they figured out a good settlement and Emily spend every other week at Lucas', the other weeks at Lindsey's. She had a room at both houses and both Lucas and Lindsey had made sure that both houses still felt like home to the little girl.

It hadn't been easy in the beginning, but they figured it all out eventually and a year after the divorce Emily didn't seem to have a lot of trouble with it anymore. It also helped that they lived in a small town and the girl sometimes got to see her mom or dad even when she was staying with the other parent.

"That's not really what you want though." Haley points out delicately. She can't even imagine not being close to Jamie or Aiden. Her kids mean the world to her and she knows it's the same way for her best friend.

Lucas shakes his head and sighs again, "No, it's not."

The door of the café opens then and Lindsey walks in. She locks eyes with Haley for a moment and she can tell Lucas has already told her. Haley's look is still sympathetic though and she can't help but smile a little at her. She and Haley are not as close anymore as they used to be, the divorce driving a bit of a wedge between them, but they're still friends and they try to catch up with each other from time to time. She's grateful to Lucas for never expecting his best friend to just cut Lindsey out of her life after the divorce. She knows though that if it ever comes to a real confrontation between her and Lucas that Haley will be on his side immediately.

Catching Haley looking at the door, Lucas turns around on his stool. Lindsey waves a little at him before walking towards the counter. Haley pours her a coffee as well and refills Lucas' cup before leaving them alone and tending to her other customers.

"Hey," Lindsey says softly and sits down next to him.

He smiles at her. "Hey. Ems at school?" He asks, even though he knows she is. Lindsey just nods and brings the warm cup of coffee to her lips. She smiles a little after taking her first sip. If there's one thing she'll miss about Tree Hill it's definitely Karen's Café's coffee.

"So…" She drawls out after a while. He nods and clears his throat, trying to figure out what to say. He really doesn't know what to tell her though.

"You're really moving?" He asks then, a little needlessly because he knows she is. He guesses it still hasn't really sunken in yet.

She gives him a nod, "Yeah. Are you okay with that? I mean, with Emily coming with me."

"No." He says. Of course he's not okay with his daughter moving away from him. "But I don't want to make this difficult. I'm just trying to figure out what it means that Emily is moving with you to a city about six hundred miles away from here."

"So you're not going to stop me?" She asks. He's not a difficult person, she knows that, but she had been scared that he wouldn't give his consent and it would all turn into a big mess. He's not difficult, but she knows he'd do anything for their daughter.

Lucas shakes his head, "I guess not."

"Thank you." Lindsey says sincerely. "Listen, why don't you come over for dinner tonight? Emily will like having you there and we can talk about it after we put her to bed."

He smiles a little at her before nodding and telling her he'll be there. She drinks the last of her coffee, says goodbye to Haley and walks out of the café, leaving Lucas at the counter, still not any wiser.

After a while Lucas drowns the last of his mug as well and heads back to school.

.

He has a good routine going on in Tree Hill. There's a simplicity to his life that he likes, loves even. He's been the high school basketball coach for seven years now and the team is doing good. When he's not at school for practice or to go through some plays with Nathan and Skills, he's writing. In the almost ten years since _An Unkindness of Ravens _got published, he has written four more novels. They all sold really well and he knows his publishers are waiting for more. Lindsey keeps telling him to take his time, that she'd rather give them amazing pages they've been waiting ages for than some half-heartedly written ones. He knows he has to give them something soon though.

It just hasn't really been easy lately to sit down and write something he believes in. He had trouble finding the right words again after he and Lindsey split up and somehow, a year later, he still hasn't found them.

He has written stuff, though. Tales about love and life and beauty, but nothing that leads to anything. Sometimes he watches Emily play or sleep and he has the urge to write down that feeling of knowing there's this little person who's counting on you to always be there. He feels the need sometimes to write about this all consuming love he's felt ever since the little girl came into his life. He can't figure out why everything he tries to write turns out to be nothing decent.

He's dribbling the ball through the empty gym, aiming for the hoop, but missing, and he lets out a frustrated groan. His writing is not going great at all, his daughter is moving away, and now he can't even make a proper shot.

He lets the ball bounce away and rakes his hands through his hair. He has a good thing going on here; he has a good job, he loves his family, his friends and the place where he lives, and one week out of two he gets to spend his days with his daughter. His life is good. It feels a little like it's falling apart now.

The ball stops bouncing and Lucas hears footsteps behind him. He turns around and easily catches the ball Nathan passes him. They play for a while and surprisingly, having Nathan there takes his mind off things a little bit and he can actually focus on the game.

After a while, they sit down after Lucas grabs them two bottles of water. Nathan takes a swig and then looks at his brother.

"What?" Lucas asks, getting uncomfortable under Nathan's stare.

"Speak up." Nathan demands. "Haley told me about Lindsey's plans."

He pinches the bridge of his nose before he answers, "She's moving to New York, Emily is supposed to go with her, and I don't know what I should do now."

The darker haired Scott nods and waits for a few moments before he says anything. He looks a little lost in thought, but then shakes his head and look at his brother again. "You have three options, right?" He says and Lucas frowns, looking at Nathan questioningly. "One, you give your consent and she moves away with Ems and you'll see your daughter during vacations and stuff. Two, you don't give your consent and this whole thing becomes a big mess. And three, you move as well."

Lucas raises an eyebrow, "Move as well? As in move to New York as well?" He asks. He doesn't know how that option hasn't occurred to him before. He's been thinking about possible solutions since Lindsey told him about her plans, but moving as well had never crossed his mind.

Nathan nods, "Yeah. If my kids were in New York, I'd want to be there too." He says and makes it sounds as if moving as well is the most natural thing in the world. Maybe it is.

His brother lets him in think in silence for a while. It seems like a crazy idea, just giving up his life in Tree Hill, but maybe it isn't. He'd have to give up the team, but he knows it's in good hands with his brother and Skills. After a few years in the NBA, Nathan's back had started to become a problem again and he'd decided to quit the game. He still loved to play, but he couldn't risk his back like that. He'd become a sports agent, something he loved to do as well, and when he had time he helped out Lucas and Skills with the team.

Nathan lets his arms rest on his knees, waiting for Lucas to snap out of his thoughts. When that didn't happen after several minutes he spoke up again, "So what do you think?"

"I don't know." The older Scott says. "I have a life here, a job –"

"You're a writer. You can write anywhere. And Skills and I will take care of the team." Nathan tells him. "We'll miss you, but if you don't go, my guess is that Emily will miss you more."

Lucas nods because he knows his brother is right. He'd miss his family and friends too, but he'd miss his daughter more. "I don't know anyone in New York though."

"Not true." Nathan objects. The blonde raises an eyebrow and tilts his head a little. "Brooke and Peyton live in the city." He tells Lucas. He knows they haven't been in touch for years, but he's not going to lie, he's always thought that was stupid. He and Haley managed to speak with the girls often enough, he'd love it if his brother had done the same.

Lucas shakes his head, "I haven't seen either of them in like ten years, Nate."

"Maybe it's time to change that."

"Because it's just that easy." He scoffs and rolls his eyes.

They've been on his mind, the blonde maybe a little bit more than the brunette, but it's ten years since he's seen them and he knows that's probably a bit too long to just fall back into old friendships. And well, there's more to it than just old friendships.

He wonders about them though, wonders how they're doing and if they're happy. He knows Brooke Davis is famous now and even after so long he can't help but be proud of her. She's doing big things, just like he always told her she would. He sees her pictures in magazines sometimes, but he knows that's just one side of her life and he finds himself wanting to know more about the other side. The normal side, that side of her life of which he's sure Peyton's still a big part of. If he's honest, he wonders about Peyton the most. He catches himself sometimes when he's trying to write and his thoughts drift off to years earlier, back when she was still in his life.

But he has moved on from her. It was hard, he'd been so convinced that she was the one, but in the end, he knew he had to let go. She didn't want to marry him, that was just the way it was. And when he and Lindsey started to spend more and more time together, he realized he could fall in love again. He'd had some good years with Lindsey, he'd had truly loved her. But after eight years together and more discussions and fights than either one of them could take they'd decided that going their separate ways would be best for everyone.

"Luke," Nathan pulls him out of his thoughts. He'd been staring ahead of him for quite some moments, wondering whether he could really do this. Just pack his things and move as well.

"Yeah?" He asks and turns towards his brother.

"Are you going to do it?" The younger Scott asks. It's not that he wants his brother to move away per se, he just wants for him to be happy. He knows that won't happen if he has to miss his daughter.

Lucas nods slowly, "Maybe, yeah. I just need to think about the details, you know? I can't just fly down there and play it by ear. I need a stable environment for Emily."

"Okay, so you'll figure out the details. We'll help." Nathan says and Lucas has to laugh. "What?"

"Do you want me gone from Tree Hill? I've never seen you so insistent about something." He jokes.

Nathan laughs too, but his look quickly becomes serious. "I just want you to be happy, man. First the divorce, now Emmy moving away. Don't think that's going to make you any happier." He says sincerely.

Lucas nods again and smiles at his brother. He knows Nathan's right. He's not going to get any happier if Emily lives in New York and he's in Tree Hill.

He thinks he might be ready for this new adventure.

.

Lucas walks the steps to Lindsey's front door. It's something he does every Sunday evening, either picking up or dropping off Emily. It feels weird to think that very soon he won't have to do it anymore.

When they got divorced, Lindsey moved out, leaving Lucas in the house they had bought together. She said she needed a new place for herself, even though she assured him she'd always loved living with him in their house. She found a small place quickly, way smaller than the four bedroom house she and Lucas had shared, but it didn't really need to be any bigger. As long as it was big enough for just her and Emily it'd be okay.

Lucas, on the other hand, was left in what used to be their home together and even though he had always loved how big it was and how many possibilities it held, it felt too big for him now. He had considered moving as well, but he didn't want for Emily to have to get used to _two _new places.

He feels lost in all the space though sometimes and he thinks it'll be nice to live in something just a little bit smaller again.

He has barely knocked on the door when it swings open, Emily lunging forward to hug her dad. He picks her up and kisses the apple of her cheek. "Hey princess." He smiles at her and she smiles back at him.

"Hi daddy." She says, resting her little hand on his shoulder. "Mommy's in the kitchen, she's making _carrots_." She whispers then, scrunching up her nose in that adorable way that always makes Lucas' heart swell. He knows she doesn't like carrots, but he's sure that's not the only thing Lindsey's making.

He laughs and tells her so before putting her back down. She reaches for his hand immediately and leads him to the kitchen where Lindsey's just drying her hands on a dish towel before she turns around to greet him.

He asks her if there's something he can do to help, but she shakes her head and smiles at him, telling him to just sit down and have a drink. It's not long before Emily has taken up her spot on Lucas' lap and when she starts telling him excitedly about her day he can only smile widely. She's just started a story about a boy in her class when Lindsey announces that dinner is ready. When she faces her ex-husband and daughter she can't help but roll her eyes at the set jaw Lucas is sporting after Emily's story. In his opinion it's way too early for his daughter to start telling stories about boys, even if they end in _he's so gross_.

They have dinner over comfortable chatting (well, it's almost exclusively Emily telling her parents stories) and he knows that they must seem a normal family to outsiders. Sometimes he wishes they still were.

He can't pinpoint the exact reason why he and Lindsey broke up and if he's honest, that's probably the most frustrating. When Haley asked, or his mother, or his friends, he always gave them the standard 'it didn't work anymore', but he's well aware that's probably the most stupid answer he could give. It's true though, somehow. He doesn't know why, he can't say when it started, but somewhere along the way he and Lindsey just stopped working. He would bring her coffee when she was working and she wouldn't smile up at him anymore like she'd always done. Or she'd make French toast on Sunday and his eyes didn't light up anymore like they'd always done upon seeing her make his favourite breakfast.

They were both very much focused on their daughter, which was good. Except for the fact that they stopped focusing on each other as well. Once they both noticed it and pointed it out, it only got worse. Where they were once too focused on something else to not notice the other one being focused on other things as well, they were now all too well aware of the other and the way they were both busy with things that didn't involve their significant other.

It only led to discussions and fights. And eventually to a divorce they were both okay with.

But sometimes, just sometimes, he wonders if they should've tried more. If maybe they should've just trudged through it, trying to make it work anyway instead of simply giving up. Sometimes he thinks that they shouldn't have given up so easily; he wonders about Lindsey being what people call _the one_ and what if she really was and now they were divorced? But then he remembers that they _had _tried to make it work, that they miserably failed at said attempt.

He would've loved –believed it for a long time even– if Lindsey really was the person he was meant to spend the rest of his life with. But she isn't and after a year, that's okay.

He just wishes sometimes that they were still a normal family. When he starts thinking about that wish he realizes it has actually little to do with Lindsey, but more so with a little blonde girl and his wish for her to grow up in an ordinary family. When he thinks about his failed marriage and feels the disappointment, it's usually because he had really, really wanted for his daughter to not have to grow up in a broken family.

"Daddy," Emily starts again after they have finished eating. Lucas looks up at her with a smile, waiting for her to say more. "did you know mommy wants to move to New York?" She asks, a small frown on her face.

Lindsey's head snaps up, shooting a look at her daughter. She puts her fork down and sighs just a little, "Emily, didn't we agree we wouldn't ask questions about that anymore?"

"I just want to know if daddy knows!" The girl argues, her face quickly transforming into a pout.

Lucas watches mother and daughter warily, not knowing what had been said already about the move and what not. "I know, honey." He tells Emily, making her look at him again.

"Are you staying here?" She asks him and he can see that the distance between them if he would is troubling her.

"Actually, -" He wants to start, but Lindsey cuts him off.

"Go play a bit in your room, Em. We'll talk about it later." She says, facing the girl. It's not that she doesn't think Emily is allowed to know what's going on, not at all. She wants her daughter to know about the changes that are about to happen. She just wants to know what's happening herself first before she goes on telling Emily things.

"But –"

"No buts, Ems. Listen to your mom." Lucas says, just a tad firm.

They watch their daughter as she walks into her room, sulking. Lindsey starts apologizing, telling Lucas that she had done her best to explain everything to Emily, but she'd had trouble explaining Lucas' role in it all. He told her it was okay, that that was the reason he was there anyway, to clear it all out.

"So," She says then. "what are we going to do? Draw up an arrangement for you to see Emily?" She suggests and notices the way his jaw sets. She knows he hates the thought of not seeing Emily all the time and she's well aware that she's actually not been very fair with him. She had made the decision to move and had just sort of hoped that he would go along with her plan. It's too late now, but she knows she should've talked to him first.

Lucas takes a sip of his drink before he looks up at her again, "We won't need any new arrangements actually." He says and watches as Lindsey's look changes into one of confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm moving as well." He tells her decisively. After his talk with Nathan he had given the idea some more thought and had become fully convinced that it was the right thing to do, the only right option as far as he's concerned.

A frown appears on Lindsey's face as she takes it all in, "You're moving too? To New York? What about your life here? You love Tree Hill." She says and she's right. He does love Tree Hill, he just loves Emily more.

"I'm not going to be the dad that sees his kid during school holidays, Lindsey. I can move my life to another place if that means our daughter still gets to see both her parents regularly."

Lindsey nods as Lucas explains his motives to move as well. Of course he'd move. She doesn't know why she didn't think of it sooner. It makes her feel a little bit better about her plans, knowing that Lucas will still see their girl as much as he did in Tree Hill, but she still feels bad about it all. She knows he'll do anything for their daughter, but she didn't want for him to give up his life in Tree Hill. She knows how much he loves that little town and she hates essentially being the one to take that away from him.

"Are you going to be okay in New York? You don't know anyone there."

He shrugs his shoulders, "I'll get to know people. Nathan thinks I should get back in touch with Brooke and Peyton, but I don't know if that's such a good idea."

He doesn't know why he mentions the two best friends; isn't really aware of it either until the words are out of his mouth and he notices the look on Lindsey's face. He knows she's always been just a little bit insecure about the two girls that play such big parts in his first novel. She'd edited the book and had witnessed with how much care Lucas chose his words for the two girls, especially for the blonde one.

"Might not be a bad idea." She says after a few moments, shrugging her shoulder with a nonchalance he knows is fake. "Don't tell me you've never wondered about how Peyton's doing in the last ten years."

Of course he notices that she only mentioned Peyton, but he doesn't know what to say about that so he just tells her that he'll see before starting on a few more details about the move and what it means in regards to Emily.

He doesn't like what she might have been insinuating with that statement, but at the same time, she is sort of right. He has been wondering about it. He doesn't know if he'll ever find out, but he's ready to move and see if he will.

He's ready for New York.


	3. III

**AN: **Hey guys! Third chapter here, hope you like it. And thank you all so much for your reviews, it's so nice to read :)

* * *

**III. **

It's a cold November evening when Peyton and Brooke are on their way to some tiny bar in Brooklyn, Peyton having gotten clear instructions to look out for new talent. They had actually planned a girls night at Peyton's apartment, consisting of lots of ice-cream and the latest season of Grey's Anatomy. Until, of course, Peyton's boss had called, telling her to go check out the open mic night in that bar a few blocks away from Peyton's place. Peyton had reluctantly agreed, knowing that even though she got along with her boss well enough, he was still that, her boss. Brooke decided to come with her best friend so they'd bundled up for the cold evening air and they'd left the apartment.

They're halfway there when Brooke grumbles, "Tell me again why we're _walking_."

Peyton laughs. She's actually been waiting for that question. "Because it's only a few blocks away."

"But it's freezing." Brooke objects. She's wearing a warm coat, there's a scarf tied securely around her neck and mittens on her hands. She's not that cold anymore if she's honest, but she'd rather taken the car to the club than walking the distance.

"It's not that cold. Besides, we're almost there." Peyton says with a smile.

She doesn't really like that her free night has been interrupted –she really, really wanted to watch some TV with her best friend– but she's hoping the music at the bar will make up for it. She knows the small bar quite well, visits it regularly, and she knows that most of the time the live music is good. She really hopes there's something worth leaving the warmth of her apartment for tonight as well.

"It is. I'm practically freezing to death." The brunette argues, a pout on her face, but she's not very serious and Peyton knows it.

"If you really are dying, please tell me I'm your only heir." She jokes and receives an eye roll from her best friend.

They round the last corner and then walk the last few steps to the bar. Once they're inside they get rid of their coats and scarves and make their way towards the bar. It seems a bit of a dingy place, Brooke thinks, but then again, she's used to neat Manhattan bars where high society meets up for drinks.

They've been there for fifteen minutes and Peyton's bobbing her head to the music, mentally taking notes on the acts she sees. There's some potential, she can tell already, and she can't wait to go talk to some of them once she's seen everyone. Suddenly, Brooke nudges her in the side urgently, her eyes fixed on something across the place.

"What?" Peyton asks confused. Her eyes travel across the crowd, but she can't see what Brooke is apparently seeing. "Am I supposed to see something?"

Brooke nods quickly, "There," She almost hisses, pointing to a figure resting against a wall on the other side of the room. "I think that's… Oh my God, it _is _him." She says, surprised, but Peyton still can't really see the man.

"Who is who?" She asks, still confused.

Brooke shifts her gaze from the mystery man to her best friend and then quickly back to the man. Peyton recognizes who Brooke is talking about at the same moment Brooke says, "That's Lucas, Peyton."

Peyton's eyes focus on the figure across the room and for a moment she thinks her heart stops beating. She's never really given much thought to the day she'd see him again; never really considered that a possibility. He was out of her life and she hadn't had wanted to change that for quite some time now. But seeing him now, seeing him move around the place as he makes his way to the bar, she can't help the thought that even had she been thinking about this day, she'd never really be prepared.

"You want to go say hello?" Brooke asks after a while. Peyton's gaze is still lingering on Lucas and she actually has to reach out for Peyton's arm to catch her attention.

The blonde's head snaps up, "No." She says decisively and is quickly met with Brooke's raised eyebrows. "It's been ten years, Brooke, what are we going to say? Besides, I'm here for work." Her tone suggests finality and even though Brooke has never been one to just keep quiet she now does so anyway.

So they sip their drinks and listen to the music, but Peyton's gaze keeps trailing back to that blonde man not too far away from them and Brooke has to bite her tongue every time she notices, which is practically every time it happens. It's ridiculous, she thinks, that Peyton doesn't even want to go greet the guy, but she knows why she's insistent on not letting their presence known. She's trying to prove that that man hasn't been on her mind at all and she's not in the least affected by him.

Brooke doesn't know if she's trying to prove it to her, Julian or to herself. She thinks mostly the latter.

After ten minutes Peyton thinks Lucas has noticed them when he starts walking right in their direction. She drowns her drink and looks at Brooke, "I think he saw us." She mutters under her breath as she looks at Lucas from the corner of her eye.

"Could be." The brunette shrugs. "Especially since I just waved him over."

"_Brooke_!" Peyton groans and tips her head back a little.

She's over him, she is, but she'd never expected to see him again. It's not that she's still mad at him, though she really has been. She just doesn't want to be reminded of everything that ever happened between the two of them and she just knows she will once she talks to him.

Her life is good now, and she doesn't need a reminder of turning points she once missed.

She mutters an _I hate you _to Brooke and she wants to say more but then Lucas is suddenly so close to them and she can't say anything anymore without having to whisper and make it even more obvious that she's talking about him.

His legs feel heavy as he walks towards the two women he didn't really think he'd see again. Sure, Nathan told him he should get back in touch and Lindsey made a few comments, but New York City is big. He hadn't expected to just run into them. They look amazing though, he can tell even from afar. Brooke is smiling, waiting for him to join them, but Peyton is looking down, smoothing out some wrinkles in her shirt. He can't see her face yet and he doesn't know if he should be thankful for that or not.

Then she looks up and for a moment he stops breathing. It's been ten years, but in a way, she still looks the same. At the same time, she's so very different. Her hair is longer and a bit darker, but her hair is still very much curly and as far as he's concerned, she still looks beautiful.

He walks the last few steps and when he's close enough Brooke calls out to him with a smile,

"Lucas Scott. It's been quite some years, huh?"

He smiles back at her and dares a glance at Peyton as well. He's at a loss for words seeing them again and he wishes there was some sort of guidebook for encounters like this.

Peyton's not doing much better. She's letting Brooke do the talking, because honestly, she has no clue what to say to him. He greets them and she nods at him, a weak smile on her face. Julian words from a few months ago ring in her head. _You loved him though_.

"What are you doing here?" Brooke asks, curiosity getting the best of her.

Lucas rubs his neck and Peyton somewhat hates how much that one gestures still tells her. He's a little uncomfortable, just like she is, and she's pretty sure he has no clue how to act around them either.

"I actually live here now."

"In New York?" The brunette asks, surprised. She'd been on the phone with Haley a few days ago, but she hadn't mentioned it. Then again, she almost never mentioned Lucas.

"Yeah, I sort of followed my ex-wife." He says with a laugh. Brooke raises her eyebrow, waiting for him to elaborate. "I didn't want to live far away from Emily, my daughter."

She smiles at him, "Right, you're a dad."

"That so weird?"

Brooke laughs, "Considering that the last time I saw you you were nineteen, pretty much yeah."

They make small talk for a while and Peyton wonders why she has so much trouble talking to him while Brooke seems to be just fine. He tells them how long he's been in the city and they ask him how he's doing. Brooke has just asked if he has a photo of his daughter when her phone rings. She hands over the photo to Peyton and excuses herself, leaving Lucas and Peyton alone.

Blue eyes look up at Peyton from the photo and she has to take a breath. She's always loved that shade of blue, ever since she first locked eyes with Lucas.

"She's beautiful, Lucas." She smiles at him. It's the first genuine smile she manages to send his way.

He has to smile as well. "I guess she takes after her mom."

Peyton shakes her head a little, giving back the picture, "She looks just like you."

Lucas simply nods before he takes another sip of his drink. It's quiet for a few moments as they both pay attention again to the stage. Peyton's bobbing her head to the music again, swaying a little bit and all he can do is watch how she can still be so captivated by new music and artists.

"So, you're here for work, huh?" He asks after a while.

She turns towards him again and nods, "Checking out new talent. I work at a small label company."

"Do you like it?" She was working in the mail room of a label company the last time they saw each other and he had been sure she'd grown to hate her job in LA. He wonders if it's all so much different now.

"My job? Love it." Peyton answers with a fond smile. "It's not the mail room anymore, Luke. I get to work with artists now; decide who we sign and who we're going to work with. It's what I always wanted." She says then, as if she knew what he'd been thinking just moments before. She wonders if he noticed that she already slipped back into the old habit of calling him Luke. He has.

"That's really great, Peyton." He smiles. "I'm glad you found something you love."

She nods at him in agreement and she wants to say something more when Brooke rushes back to their side,

"Bad news, best friend." Brooke says with a sigh, addressing Peyton. "Millicent just called, there's some sort of crisis. I have to go."

Her voice suggests annoyance and Peyton knows how much Brooke loves her free evenings. She works incredibly hard, has been for the last ten years. Clothes over Bros is flourishing with both a women and men's line and magazine stands his ground in an age with magazines for probably every single subject. She's doing well and whenever Peyton is reminded of that, she feels a surge of pride for her best friend.

She says goodbye to Lucas, tells him it's really good to see him again. She smiles at him and says they should go for drinks some time and he smiles right back at her, agreeing that they should. They hug briefly and when they break apart, she grumbles,

"I really hate it when my assistant calls me on my free nights." She turns to Peyton and hugs her as well, "At the same time, this could be interesting." She tells Peyton as they embrace, making sure Lucas doesn't hear her. She lets go of her blonde friend and quickly winks at her before walking away.

Peyton can only roll her eyes at that.

"This happens a lot?" Lucas asks then, jerking his thumb over his shoulder in the direction Brooke went.

She shrugs her shoulders a little, "Not too much. Millicent is a great assistant, she tries to handle most things on her own when Brooke has a free night."

He nods and then they fall silent for a while. It's another few moments and then Peyton tells him she has to go. After all, she's there for work. They say goodbye, maybe a little awkwardly, and he watches her walk away with a hint of a smile on his face. He's glad he moved to New York.

.

Peyton rushes through the New York streets, bumping into one or two people as she tries to make her way through the crowd. She loves the city, but December and Christmas are fast approaching and there are people _everywhere_. She's been in meetings all day and all she wants right now is a hot chocolate and maybe a muffin. She hates that all these people are preventing her from getting to her place of destination as quickly as possible.

When she finally gets to the cosy café she feels a rush of warmth come over as soon as she steps inside. She waves at Lisa, the owner, and asks for a hot chocolate and a triple chocolate muffin.

"Someone's heavy on chocolate today." A voice calls out, teasingly, and Peyton turns around immediately, a wide smile on her face.

"Haley!" She cries out as she rushes to their usual booth and wraps her arms around her friend. Brooke is beaming in her spot, happy to have surprised her best friend. "What are you doing here?" Peyton asks then and sits down as well.

They don't see each other very often, but in the ten years since Brooke and Peyton have left Tree Hill, they've always made sure to keep in touch one way or another. They'd call or Skype, mail each other and send photo's back and forth. Leaving Tree Hill has never meant leaving behind Nathan and Haley and their boys.

"We're here for the weekend. See how Luke's doing. Brooke told me you saw him last week?" She says, her hands around her hot cup of coffee.

Peyton nods, though if she's honest, she doesn't really feel like talking about Lucas. "We did. But hey, we talked on the phone yesterday. You didn't tell me you were coming!"

Haley laughs and points at Brooke, "Your best friend there asked me not to tell you anything."

The brunette shrugs, "I thought you could use a nice surprise after the last few months."

In that moment, Lisa approaches them with Peyton's hot chocolate and muffin and Peyton smiles appreciatively at the older woman. She then looks back at her friends,

"Well, it's definitely a nice surprise." She says with a grin and pulls Haley closer into a side hug.

They fall into comfortable conversation for a while, talking about work and friends and family. It's always nice to see Haley again, no matter how long it's been since they last saw each other. Haley grabs her purse then and retrieves two sets of photo's of Jamie and Aiden. Brooke and Peyton love getting new photo's of their two favourite boys.

They smile giddily over the pictures and it's when Haley's eye lands on one of Jamie that she has to think again of the man he was named after,

"So how was seeing Lucas?" She looks at Peyton as she asks the question, Brooke already having recounted her version of the evening. She wants to know what her blonde friend thought of seeing the man again they once all thought she'd marry someday.

Peyton swallows down her bite of muffin before she answers. It buys her a couple of seconds, because honestly, she has no idea what to say. She saw Lucas again and that was that, she's not going to let it mean more than it did. "Okay." She says eventually, shrugging her shoulders a little. "We didn't talk very much, but it was nice, I guess."

"Wasn't it weird?" Haley inquires. "I mean, it's been ten years and when you last saw each other..." She lets her sentence trail and tries for a smile instead.

Peyton shrugs again, "A little maybe. I don't know, Hales. Seeing Lucas again hasn't changed my life or anything, I'm not going to dwell on this." She looks down into her cup of coffee again, oblivious to the look Haley and Brooke are sharing.

She's not completely honest with her friends though, and she doesn't really know why. She's never been one to openly convey her emotions, but Brooke and Haley are her best friends, she shouldn't have trouble telling them how she feels about all of it. Then again, she doesn't really know what she's feeling either, so maybe not telling them isn't too weird after all.

All she knows is that the day after she saw Lucas she went out and bought all his other novels. She also picked up _The Catcher in the Rye _again. It's always been one of his favourites. She wonders if it still is.

When she looks up again, both Brooke and Haley are looking rather pointedly at her.

"What?"

"Are you sure you're okay?" Haley asks. Brooke is uncharacteristically quiet and Peyton has to wonder if that's because she doesn't have on opinion about it all (which would be very unlike Brooke Davis) or that maybe she's just saving her opinion for later. She hopes for the former, because she's really not looking forward to the latter.

"Yes. Why would I not be?" She answers Haley's question.

"I don't know. Just... You know, first the break-up with Julian, now seeing Lucas again."

Peyton smiles at her friend, "Well, I guess you'll be relieved to hear then that I am over both Julian and Lucas. I'm honestly fine."

Smiling back, Haley nods, "Okay."

"Besides," The blonde starts again, "why are we only talking about me? Brooke's dating someone new, I don't hear you asking questions about this new guy!"

Brooke groans as Haley perks up, a wide grin on her face. "Right! You said you were going on a date, how did it go?"

The brunette shoots a glare in her best friend's direction before turning to their other friend. "Great. His name is Ethan, he's a doctor and –"

"She means he's a cardiothoracic surgeon." Peyton chimes in with a smile and Brooke can't help but roll her eyes. Peyton's been insanely enthusiastic about Brooke dating again. Haley nods appreciatively before Brooke continues,

"Anyway, we went out a few times and it's been really nice, but it's still early." She's been disappointed a few too many times when it comes to dating, she doesn't want to get her hopes up now. "We're just going to, you know, see what happens."

"I'm happy for you, Brooke. You deserve it."

"It's still early, Hales." She says again, reminding her friend not to get too excited already. She's been trying to do the same with Peyton, but those attempts are quite failing.

"Still." Haley insists.

Brooke only smiles at that. She knows Haley only wants her friends to find what she has already found with Nathan. She just wishes for her friends to be happy and find love.

Brooke's been wishing for the same thing.

.

Lucas had been living in New York for two weeks when he saw Brooke and Peyton again; three weeks when his brother and sister-in-law came to visit him, and though that didn't seem very long, he was already pretty much settled in the city.

He bought a spacious apartment in Manhattan, though not as much as his house in Tree Hill. It's probably too big for only him and Emily, but they both loved it and he could afford it, so the decision was quickly made. He started writing again, something real and good this time, he thinks. If he can, he spends his days with Emily; let them both explore the city.

If you'd ask him, he'd say he's quite happy.

"So, New York's good?" Nathan asks, wringing his gloved hands a little. They're sitting on a bench at Battery Park, looking out over the water.

Lucas nods, "I like it here. I think Emily does too."

His brother raises an eyebrow at him, "Emmy's probably missing her uncle Nate like _crazy_." He says and Lucas laughs. Emily really does miss her aunt and uncle though. "Where is she anyway?"

"Lindsey's week." Lucas explains. "But she's having dinner with us tonight. Lindsey didn't mind." Nathan rolls his eyes at the mention of Lindsey and Lucas laughs again. "Did you just roll your eyes?"

"I'm not a big fan of your ex, okay? She took Emmy away from me." He says and he sounds so serious that Lucas almost feels bad about laughing. Almost.

"You're such a softie, Nate."

"Shut up."

They fall silent for a while as they sit in the cold November air, both men's eyes fixed on the water before them. Nathan's not one for sitting quiet though, so he suggests they get out of the park and into the city again, maybe find a basketball court somewhere.

They've been walking for ten minutes maybe when Nathan gets just too curious,

"I heard you saw Brooke and Peyton last week."

"Of course you did." Lucas deadpans.

"And?"

"And what?"

The darker haired Scott rolls his eyes, "How was it?"

"Good. It was nice to see them again, I suppose." Lucas answers.

Really nice, he thinks, but he's not going to tell his brother that. He's been wondering, hoping actually, that he'd bump into them again, but if he lets Nathan know that Haley will know immediately as well and she'll get giddy and that's not something he's particularly looking forward to. He wants to see them again though, especially Peyton if he's honest.

"I bet Sawyer was nervous." Nathan says after a while, pulling Lucas from his thoughts.

"What? Why?"

His brother scoffs, "Uh, I don't know, maybe because you just left her in a hotel room ten years ago. Did you ever even apologize for that?"

"Did she ever apologize for saying no?" Lucas counters, though he knows she shouldn't really.

"She didn't say no." If there's one thing he has learned from the many phone calls between him and the curly blonde some ten years earlier it's that she had never meant to say no to his brother. Not at all.

Lucas lets out a bit of a frustrated groan. In the ten years since he and Peyton broke up, Nathan has made his point more than enough times. She didn't say no and he shouldn't have left. He knows it by now. Nathan is Peyton's biggest fan and he has never been very fond of Lindsey, but sometimes, Lucas wishes he would just keep that all to himself. He can't fault his brother for simply being honest, though.

"Give me your phone." Nathan demands then, breaking the silence and holding out his hand.

Lucas frowns, "Why?"

"I'm giving you a chance to finally apologize. Come on." He says and as his brother hands over his phone, he knows what's happening. If this was Haley, he'd probably find a note with a number scribbled on in his pocket when he got home later. But this is Nathan and he's not as subtle as his wife. Nathan gives back the phone, Peyton's number sitting between his other contacts.

"You know she's going to be pissed, right? When she finds out you're just handing out her phone number." Lucas reminds his brother. He figures there are a lot of things he doesn't know about Peyton Sawyer, but this is not one of those things. She definitely will be pissed.

He shrugs his shoulders, "She'll thank me later."

Lucas rolls his eyes at Nathan's confidence. "I'm not going to use it. I'm not just going to call her up out of the blue."

Nathan just raises his eyebrows at him, as if to let him know that he doesn't believe a word he's saying. And to be honest, even he should know that eventually, he'll cave anyway.

.

It's obvious that November is reaching its end. Even though there's still Thanksgiving to come, there already hangs some sort of Christmas feeling in the air. The tree lighting at Rockefeller Center is next week, all the shops are already decorated for Christmas and there seem to be a lot more people on the streets. Peyton knows though that this is nothing in comparison to the rush of people New York will know once December rolls in.

Brooke and Peyton are sitting on a bench in Central Park, talking and laughing and spotting people. Brooke had an hour or two to kill in between meetings and Peyton had a free day so it was sort of a given that they would meet up. They watch an old man walk by with a little girl who they both assume is his granddaughter and it puts a smile on both their faces. Everyone is bundled up in hats and scarves and gloves and Peyton couldn't love it more.

After a while, Brooke turns towards her best friend, "So, this Lucas thing, huh?" She says and looks expectantly at Peyton.

The blonde, however, has no idea what Brooke wants her to say. "Yes?"

"I didn't want to say much the other day with Haley, you know." Peyton raises a eyebrow. "I mean, he's her best friend, I didn't want it to get weird or something." Brooke explains, but Peyton is still wearing a confused look.

Peyton nods slowly, "Okay. I don't get it though, there's not much to say."

"Except for the fact you went out and bought all his novels." Her best friend scoffs. "You've been thinking about him, haven't you?"

Peyton wants to roll her eyes at the ridiculousness of her friend's words, but she can't really. She hates it sometimes how well Brooke knows her. Still, she says, "I haven't.

The brunette lets out another scoff, "You so have. And there's nothing wrong with it, Peyton, so don't deny it."

She sighs, "I don't know, Brooke. It _feels _wrong to let myself think about him. I stopped doing that a long time ago and I don't _want _to do it again. I guess it's just the shock of seeing him again, you know. It'll pass." Peyton shrugs her shoulders and Brooke thinks her best friend is actually convinced of that.

She doesn't really understand how Peyton, given her history with the blonde haired boy, can believe that.

.

His phone rings for the third time and he really should pick up this time, but he's going through every single drawer in his apartment in search of a suitable tie to wear and in that moment, that seems a tad more important. He's already late for a meeting with his publishers and after that, he also has an appointment with the editor-in-chief of some magazine. He'll probably be late for that one as well. On top of all that, the babysit for Emily has called him fifteen minutes ago to tell him she can't make it.

"Ems, put on your coat!" He calls out to his daughter as he finally finds a good tie and starts putting it on.

The little girl appears in the doorway, "You look nice, daddy." She notes and he sends her a smile before his eyes travel back to the tie in his hands. "Am I going to stay with mommy today?"

Lucas lets out a small sigh, "Maybe." He tells her. He's tried calling Lindsey four times, but she's not picking up and he doesn't really know what to do with Emily now. He doesn't know a lot of people in New York yet and even if he did, he wouldn't know how to contact them. Except for one.

He's calling her before he can properly think it through.

"Peyton Sawyer." She sounds businesslike and he hopes to God she's not actually working right now.

"Peyton, hi, it's Lucas." He breathes out, a little nervous. "I know this may seem weird, but Nathan gave me your number and I wasn't going to use it, but I'm in a bit of an emergency so..."

"Okay, what's going on?"

"I have a couple of meetings right about now actually and the babysit has cancelled, I can't reach Lindsey and I can't take Emily with me and –"

He's cut off by a reassuring chuckle, "I'll look after her. I'm on my way out of Central Park actually, so tell me where to wait for you."

Lucas lets out a breath and smiles, "You're sure? I wouldn't ask this of you normally, but I don't know anyone else in New York. Or well, no one I trust with my daughter anyway."

It's implied that he does trust _her _with Emily and for some reason, Peyton's smiling at that on the other end of the line. "I'm sure, Lucas. I'll look after Emily."

"Thank you, Peyton." He smiles and then tells her where to meet.

When they hang up he turns towards Emily and makes sure she's all bundled up before they leave the apartment, on their way towards Peyton.

* * *

**AN: **There's just one more thing; I went back to university last week and I'm already pretty much buried under papers and books and whatever else to read (I swear, this semester is going to kill me) so it may be a while before I can update. I definitely will though; I just don't know how much time I'll have to write. So please, bear with me? :)


	4. IV

**AN: **Here's another chapter, I hope you like it. I'm sorry for the wait, but I hope all this LP makes up for it ;)

* * *

**IV.**

As soon as Lucas has left Emily with Peyton, the little girl looks up at her with those big blue eyes she inherited from her father. Peyton's breath still hitches a little in her throat every time she sees those eyes bore into her own. The girl asks what they are going to do now and when Peyton suggests they make their way through the city to Peyton's apartment, maybe picking up some ingredients for chocolate cake, Emily smiles widely and giggles that she _loves _chocolate cake.

Two hours later, the cake is baking in the oven and Emily is watching, entranced by the changes going on. Peyton is watching the blonde girl from the kitchen table, a sketchpad in front of her. She doesn't know why she felt compelled to draw Lucas' daughter, but she's not going to question it.

Emily looks over her shoulder at Peyton, her eyes squinted and Peyton can't help but smile at the familiarity. "Are you drawing _me_?" She asks with a wide smile and Peyton nods. "Why?"

The older blonde shrugs her shoulders, "I don't know. Because I like to draw, I guess."

Emily simply nods, seemingly satisfied with the answer. "I like to draw too. My mommy and I draw together sometimes, but she's not very good at it." She whispers the last part of her sentence, giggling a little bit and Peyton thinks she's the most adorable kid ever.

"Do you want to draw too?" She suggest then, pulling out a chair for Emily. She nods eagerly and gets up from her place in front of the oven, but she bites her lip a little as her eyes travel down to the charcoal in Peyton's hand. Peyton notices, "I have some crayons as well, if you want."

She gives Emily the crayons and they draw for a while. Emily tells Peyton stories about Tree Hill and her uncle and aunt and cousins and Peyton tells her stories right back, stories from some twelve years ago, when they were all still kids in high school. Emily loves that Peyton knows her little hometown and her family as well. When Peyton tells her that her uncle Nate has been one of her very best friends since she was twelve years old her eyes go wide in disbelief.

They eat a piece of the chocolate cake when it's cooled off enough and then they watch some cartoons and eventually the little girl dozes off, nestled against Peyton's side. The blonde doesn't know why, but Emily seems oddly comfortable with her and she wonders if it has anything to do with _her _or whether Emily is just a very social child. After a while, she picks up the girl and carries her towards the bedroom. She figures her bed is more comfortable than her couch.

It's another half an hour later when the doorbell goes and Lucas climbs the stairs to Peyton's door. She greets him at the door and he follows her into the living room. He smiles unconsciously as he walks into the room, because it simply seems so _Peyton_. The walls are painted some light shade of grey, the shelves that hang from it all messy. Her coffee table, covered in beautifully painted patterns, draws the attention and her red couch compliments it and he wonders how it would feel to live in this place that practically breathes art and music. There are countless records resting on the shelves, but he's seen her collection in high school and he knows there are hundreds of records she's not putting on display in her living room.

"Where's Emily?" He asks, turning towards Peyton. She's leaning against the counter top in the kitchen with a smirk on her face, waiting for him to stop looking around her living room.

"She fell asleep a while ago, I put her in my bed." Peyton answers, making it sound more like a question, as if to see if that's okay. Lucas nods and smiles at her. He can already tell she took excellent care of his little girl. "Coffee?" She asks then, holding up the coffeepot. He nods again and looks around her small kitchen. It's a big mess, it looks as if a bunch of cooking ingredients simply exploded, but Peyton doesn't seem to mind very much and he loves that.

She pours them both some coffee and walks towards the couch, indicating for him to follow her. She hands over one of the mugs and they make small talk for a while, trying to stop the conversation from falling into uncomfortable silences. Lucas asks how Emily has been and Peyton admits that she's possibly fallen in love with the girl. He laughs and tells her she has that effect on people.

"I'm really sorry I asked this of you." He says and she starts shaking her head, because really, she can't think of a nicer way to have spent her day.

"I didn't mind at all. It was nice spending time with her."

He smiles a little, "Still. I got a hold of Lindsey eventually. She was off with her new boyfriend. Didn't even know she had one."

"I'm sorry, Lucas." Peyton says sincerely. She doesn't know why they split up, but she figures it doesn't feel great when your ex-wife finds someone new.

Lucas shakes his head, even letting out a few chuckles, "It's honestly fine. We've been divorced for over a year. I want her to be happy. It's just a little bit weird, I guess."

She nods softly and stays quiet for a while. She nurses her coffee and her eyes travel to his hands around his mug. She figures there must have been a tan line on his left ring finger once upon a time, but it's gone now and she wonders if all traces of his marriage have disappeared with it. She wonders about the traces of Lindsey on his heart and she curses herself for it. She's not supposed to think about that.

"How did you two meet?" She asks after a while as she puts down her mug on the coffee table and it surprises him because he really didn't think she'd want to talk about Lindsey.

"She's my editor. We met when _Ravens _got picked up, right after you and I broke up." He notices her tense a little bit when he mentions their break up and he knows he probably shouldn't have mentioned it at all. She doesn't say anything and it seems as if she's trying to get more space between the two of them, even though they are already sitting as far away from the other as possible.

He reaches out a little, but stops himself midway, "Are you okay?" He asks instead, tentatively.

She doesn't mean to, but she's brought out a sharp yes before she knows it. Her look softens almost immediately though and she runs a hand through her curls before looking back up at him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap."

He shrugs a shoulder, "It's okay. You're not comfortable with me, are you?" He's using that tone; the one he used in high school and that always indicated how well he knew her.

"What?"

"The few times we've seen each other since I moved here, you... You don't seem comfortable." He states and they both know it's true.

"It's been ten years, Lucas." Peyton tries to explain, but she doesn't really have an explanation.

She does feel slightly uncomfortable around him and she wishes she didn't. She wishes she felt nothing at all; that he simply didn't affect her anymore. But it's been ten years and somehow, it's still not all in the past.

Lucas nods, "I know."

They fall silent for a while, both looking at anything but the other. Peyton reaches for her mug on the coffee table and tucks her legs beneath her on the couch, silently sipping her coffee. Her eyes drift to her bedroom where Emily is still soundly asleep. She can't help a smile as her mind wanders back to the hours they spent together earlier. She's had a wonderful time with the little girl.

"Are you mad at me?" Lucas breaks the silence after quite some time.

She turns to face him, "Why would I be mad?"

"I don't know. Because I just left?" He doesn't give a time frame, but of course she knows what he's talking about.

When they broke up, he had blamed her. She didn't want to marry him, that wasn't his fault. He had been ready to spend the rest of his life with her and she simply didn't want that with him. As time passed though, he had realized that he hadn't been fair either.

Peyton nods slowly, pursing her lips a little. "I've been really mad." She says honestly. "But then, after a while, I guess I stopped."

"Why?"

"Because you were out of my life. There's no point in focusing on the past and being angry with someone you'll probably never see again."

He smiles a little, "Except I'm here now."

She lets herself smile a bit as well, "Yeah. Except for that."

It's silly, she thinks. There's no reason to feel uncomfortable around him. In a lot of ways, it's so very clear that he hasn't really changed since high school. Yes, he's matured, like she has, and he's a dad now; there's more responsibility resting on his shoulders. But in quite some ways, she can tell, he's still the same.

For some reason though, she's still sort of holding her breath.

"Would it help if I properly apologized now?"

And then she lets out that breath.

.

Once Thanksgiving passes December rolls in and with it an abundance of Christmas spirit. Peyton spent Thanksgiving with Brooke and some other friends who couldn't or wouldn't make it home and it was lovely, like it is every year. She's looking forward to Christmas now though; it's the one holiday Derek makes sure he's home for.

On the second of December she's sitting on the couch in her apartment, her knees drawn up to her body and debating whether or not to just dial that number. She wants to see Lucas and it's the first time in ten years that she doesn't feel too bad about that. It's not been very long since the day she looked after Emily, a little over a week, but it _seems _long, too long maybe, and she has to ask herself when she started thinking that way.

She thinks that maybe she's always thought that way.

After another few minutes she breathes in deeply and then finally dials the number,

"Hello?" He sounds a little sleepily and she wonders if maybe it's too late to call. She catches the clock on the wall though and it's only eight o'clock.

"Hi, it's Peyton."

"Peyton, hey. How are you?" He's surprised, she can tell, but it sounds like a good sort of surprised so she lets herself smile just a little bit.

They make small talk for a while, asking about each other's Thanksgivings. He went home to Tree Hill with Emily, spending the holiday with their family. It's comfortable and it feels good and Peyton can't remember why she spent so long with the phone in her hand, not knowing if she should call or not.

"So..." Peyton says after a while. "I called for a reason actually. Do you have any plans Wednesday evening?" She's a little nervous and she's sure he can tell by the way her voice is trembling lightly.

"No, don't think so. Why?" He's not ever going to admit it, but there's quite a wide smile on his face as he answers.

"There's the tree lighting at Rockefeller Center in two days, I was wondering if you wanted to go. I go with Brooke every year, but Mr. Doctor asked her out on a hot date. I insisted she'd go." She lets out a few chuckles as she thinks of Brooke. Her best friend had been adamant on not going out with Ethan, but Peyton had convinced her anyway. She knows Brooke is falling for the guy and she wants to support her any way she can.

"I'd love to go." Lucas smiles on the other end of the line.

"Great! Is Emily with you?"

He laughs, "You're only asking me because you want to spend time with my daughter, aren't you?" He says teasingly and smiles as he hears her laugh. "Unfortunately for you, she's with Lindsey this week."

"Damn, you're on to me." Peyton teases back, laughter still in her voice. "Well, I guess you'll suffice."

"Wow, thank you." Lucas replies dryly, but he's pretty sure she knows he's smiling again.

They talk for another few minutes, agreeing upon a place and time to meet up Wednesday evening.

When they hang up, Peyton feels as if she should be freaking out about this. For some reason, she doesn't really.

.

Wednesday evening, Lucas is looking through the crowd in the New York streets for that all too familiar face. Eventually, he sees her making her way towards him, all bundled up in matching burgundy scarf, gloves and hat. She's wearing black skinny jeans, black boots and a grey coat and he thinks she looks gorgeous. There's a blush in her cheeks from walking in the December cold and a smile on her face when she notices him too.

"I'm so sorry I'm late. I was at Brooke's, sort of lost track of time." She apologizes, her breath a little laboured, but he just smiles at her and tells her it's okay.

"Was she freaking out about her hot date?" He asks knowingly and she lets out a laugh.

"God, yes! She goes out with Ethan all the time, I even met him," Peyton says and he knows that's a big deal. The two best friends are like sisters to each other and meeting (potential) boyfriends is not something they take lightly. "but well, she was freaking out so much today. I don't really get why because he's honestly great."

"Really?" He figures the guy must be something if Peyton thinks he's absolutely great for her best friend.

Peyton nods with a smile, "I thinks he's perfect for Brooke. But well, she thought the same of Julian and me so..." The words are out of her mouth before she realizes it and she hates herself a little for bringing that up. She wasn't really thinking though and maybe that means something as well. She doesn't really need to think about what she's saying when she's talking to Lucas.

"Julian?"

"Ex-boyfriend. Fiancé actually."

"Oh." He simply says and she wants to both laugh and glare at him for uttering that one single syllable. It's crazy, she thinks, that even after ten years her mind still immediately goes back to that time in her bedroom when he had said the same thing. "Why did you break up?" Lucas asks then.

Peyton shrugs her shoulders a little. It's been some four months now and she thinks she's over it, but it still feels weird to talk about it. "Couldn't really see myself be married to him. God, that sounds awful."

Lucas stops in his tracks, cupping her elbow to make her stop too and she's sure she can hear people behind them on the street complain about them. "That's not awful. There's no point in getting married to someone if you don't see a future." He tells her and she smiles a little. It's nice that he understands.

She kinks her eyebrows, "Are you talking out of experience?" She asks and makes him let out a few chuckles.

"No. I... I could see a future. It just didn't work out the way I thought it would." She simply nods in response and they start walking again.

They're lucky and find a good spot when they arrive, quickly becoming nestled in between the crowd, everyone looking forward to that magical moment when the lights in the enormous tree will start to shine. They talk about their friends and family and work as they wait for the countdown to start and it's nice; it feels a little like it used to feel when they were younger. He tells her that he's working on his new novel and that he's also writing a column for some magazine. They were interested in the popular writer's life as a new New Yorker. She smiles at him and tells him she's proud of him.

When the countdown starts they shift their attention to the giant tree, waiting for the big moment to happen. Peyton smiles widely when the lights finally appear, as does Lucas, and since everyone around them seems to be hugging, they hug quickly too. After a while, the crowd seems to disperse and Lucas and Peyton start walking away too, though they don't really know where they're going.

"That was... pretty magical." Lucas says after a few moments. Peyton only smiles and nods, a twinkle in her eye. She's always loved the tree lighting. "What are your plans for Christmas?" He asks then and her face lights up even more.

"Derek is coming to the city. And Mick is going to be here too." She smiles brightly and he looks a little puzzled. He knows who Derek is; has no clue who Mick is. "Mick's my father." She elaborates then and his look of confusion turns into one of surprise.

"What? Peyton, that's so great! I didn't know you found him." He wants to reach out to her; make her stop walking again so he can hug her, but he doesn't know if that's appropriate so he just walks on. But he's really, really happy for her.

"He found me actually. He showed up a few years ago at the label and it's been pretty great. I don't see him much, but we go out for dinner sometimes or he comes to the label to record a little."

"He's a musician?" Lucas asks, but he's not really surprised.

Peyton bites her lip, "He's Mick Wolf actually." His eyes go wide and she loves that he knows who he is. When Peyton first found out about him Brooke had had no clue who he was. She can tell he wants to say something but that he doesn't really know what so she starts talking again, "What about you? Christmas plans?"

He smiles immediately at the thought of Christmas, "Tree Hill again."

"You miss it, huh?" She notes as she leads the way into a subway station.

Lucas nods, "Yeah. But New York is pretty great too." He says as he locks eyes with her and she doesn't know if he's only talking about the city or not. "Where are we going by the way?"

"What do you think of Brooklyn?"

"I like Brooklyn."

"Good." Peyton says. "I know this place you'll love." She smiles a gorgeous smile and she leads the way again, Lucas following.

He thinks he'll follow her anywhere.

.

He studies her as she looks down into her mug of hot chocolate, letting the hot drink warm up her hands. There's a small smile around her lips as she's lost in thought and it's silly maybe, but he hopes he's the reason she's smiling.

It feels a little surreal to be sitting there with her, already having spent hours together earlier. He'd never thought he'd have that chance again. They're not teenagers anymore and they've both matured, but she's still beautiful and full of grace. She still laughs that spirited laugh he always adored and he's thankful that all those years in New York don't seem to have change her all that much.

She looks up at him with a smile, having felt his eyes on her, and asks, "What?"

"Nothing." He shakes his head. "I was just thinking, you know. It's crazy that we met again. I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

She nods slowly, "That makes two of us. You know, I should be pissed at Nathan for just giving away my phone number, but I'm not really."

He smiles at her honesty and remembers Nathan's words. _She'll thank me later_. "Yeah, I'm not really either." He says, locking eyes with her, and though his tone is teasing, it still feels heavy. Too heavy, maybe.

"So, tell me more about Emily." Peyton says then, steering the conversation away from things she isn't ready to hear. It's too soon, she thinks, to be feeling things.

His smile grows wider as soon as she mentions Emily and it's so very clear how much he loves his daughter. She can't help but wonder if she'll ever feel that kind of love as well. "What do you want to know?" He asks. He can talk about his daughter for hours, but he's learned that people either find that really adorable or really frustrating so he's going to try not to do that.

She shrugs her shoulders, "I don't know. Anything. What is she like?" She already spent time with the girl and she knows a little what she's like, but she only finds herself wanting to know more. It seems crazy because once upon a time she envisioned kids with curly blonde hair and blue eyes and this is Lucas' daughter with someone other than her and she shouldn't feel this connected to the little girl. At the same time, it's _Lucas_' daughter and she wants to know everything about the most important person in his life.

"She's... She's bright and playful and spirited. She smiles every single time she notices a balloon because she loves them. She once told me that what she loves about them the most is their freedom. Like, they can just float away." He chuckles and Peyton matches his laughter easily. "She loves to sing. When she's with Haley, the two of them sing all the time. She loves her uncle Nate like _crazy_. There was this time when she was a baby that she just didn't want to sleep, like ever. Lindsey and I did everything we could imagine and she just wouldn't sleep. Until Nathan picked her up. There have actually been nights where we all stayed over at Nathan and Haley's just so we could all get some sleep." They laugh again and then fall silent, just for a few moments.

"You seem really happy as a dad, Luke." Peyton says then softly.

He looks up at her and smiles as he nods, "I am. Emily, she... She wasn't planned. I totally freaked out when Lindsey told me she was pregnant. I didn't know if we could handle it; didn't even know if I wanted it, you know?"

Frowning, Peyton shakes her head a little, "You've always wanted children. I remember talks about..." She lets her sentence trail, but she's sure he knows what she wanted to say. Talks about babies of the both of them.

Their eyes lock as he rolls his shoulders, "Yeah, I know." Maybe she's reading a little bit too much into it, but it feels as if he's telling her that he simply didn't know if he wanted to have children with Lindsey; that he had always thought he'd be having kids with _her_. "Anyway, she turned out to be the best thing I have in my life." Lucas continues with a smile.

They talk a little more about the little girl and when they decide to call it a night, Lucas offers to walk Peyton home. She tells him that that really isn't necessary, but it's only a few blocks and he insists.

They reach the steps to her front door after a while and it's a little bit awkward, both of them not knowing how to do this.

Peyton reaches out a hand, lets it rest on his arms as she tells him, "I had a really nice evening, Luke. Thank you for coming with me."

He smiles at her, "You're welcome. I had a really great time too." He leans forward, placing a soft kiss on her cheek. It's a bold move maybe, but he doesn't care. He smiles softly at her again before turning and walking away.

She's left pretty much breathless when he turns back around and calls out to her,

"Emily and I are going ice-skating next week. How do you feel about joining us?"

Peyton lets herself smile widely as she answers, "I'd love to."

"Okay. I'll be seeing you then." Lucas says with a grin before really walking away.

She watches him disappear around the corner of her street and she's sure her heart just skipped a beat at those words.

.

Emily giggles as her dad clumsily sets foot on the ice rink. Lucas's never been much of a fan of ice-skating, but he knows how much Emily loves it so he suggested it anyway. As Peyton enters the rink too he's reminded of how much the blonde always loved it as well.

They stay close to him for a while, but he can tell they just want to go and make their way through all the people surrounding them so eventually, he just tells them to leave him be. The girls look at each other for a moment, as if they're contemplating whether they'd really leave him, but then they both laugh and skate off, Emily's hand tucked firmly into Peyton's.

He's not going to lie; that picture is doing things to his heart.

He tries to skate his way forward as well, but he's really not that good and before he knows it, Emily and Peyton are back at his side.

"You're slow, daddy." Emily remarks, trying to keep her face straight, but miserably failing and bursting out in another fit of giggles.

He looks at her, feigning indignation. "I am not! You two are just super fast." He tells his daughter, but she only laughs more and then looks up at Peyton, waiting for her to say something as well.

"You sort of are slow, Luke. Emily's right." Peyton states, making the little girl laugh again.

"You are mean! Both of you." Lucas says then and when a mix of both girls' laughter rings through the air he can't help but smile. "You know what? You two go skating for a while longer and I'll go stand in line for some hot chocolate. What do you think?"

Emily and Peyton look at each other again. It seems as if they are silently communicating and he can't say he doesn't love the bonding happening between his daughter and his, well, whatever Peyton is. Eventually, Emily looks up at her dad, "Sounds good. See you, daddy!"

"See you, princess." He smiles at her before she turns around, already reaching for Peyton's hand. Peyton quickly throws him a smile over her shoulder as well and then follows Emily.

Twenty minutes later, Emily and Peyton join Lucas on a bench looking out over the skating rink. He hands them their hot chocolates, receiving wide smiles from the both of them. There's enough space on the bench for all three of them to sit, but for some reason, Emily immediately climbs onto Peyton's lap, resting against Peyton as she sips her hot chocolate.

"You're back quickly." Lucas remarks when they're both settled down.

Peyton briefly glances at the girl in her lap before looking at Lucas, "Tired." She mouths with a smile. Emily had insisted they'd get back to Lucas, sit down a little. It's obvious to both adults that she's just plain tired.

"Ems," Lucas starts then, reaching for his daughter's hand. "do you want to go home?"

Emily shakes her head quickly and gives her dad a little smile. "I like it here." She says, playing with the rings on Peyton's right hand. She's getting really tired, though, and her head drops onto Peyton's shoulder as her eyes are falling close. Lucas and Peyton look at each other, both knowing they'd better get her to bed, and he is about to say something when Emily quietly mumbles, "I like Peyton."

Lucas briefly locks eyes with Peyton before answering, "I like her too, Ems."

She thinks she can feel her heart swell in her chest.

The rest of the evening passes in a blur, though Peyton tries her best to remember every moment of it. She walks next to Lucas as he carries Emily in his arms on their way home. She's well aware that her own home is actually in the opposite direction, but she simply doesn't want to go home yet. She sort of likes walking with Lucas through the New York streets on a cold December evening.

Before she realizes it, they arrive at Lucas' place and she wonders where time has gone. They spent the whole evening together, but she only wants more.

She wants to tell herself that's okay, but she doesn't know if she'd believe it. It's scary and Lucas becoming a part of her life again feels too big. She's torn between what she wants and what she fears.

They stop in front of Lucas' building and he asks her if she wants to come upstairs, but she shakes her head gently and tells him she'd better go home.

He nods with a smile and shifts Emily to his other arm. She's getting heavy and he should really take her to bed, but a part of him just wants to stay put. He wants more time with Peyton, even if it's just a minute. "I'll see you soon, right?"

Peyton nods and reaches up to press a kiss to Emily's hair and one to his cheek. She lets her hand trail down his arm and squeezes his hand once before smiling at him, "Sure. I'll be seeing you."

He loves throwbacks like that.

It starts snowing as he watches her walk away and he smiles. He's always loved snow and the more time he spends with the curly blonde, the more he thinks he's always loved her too.


End file.
